the courage to be disliked

– Books

The Courage to be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi

My last therapist recommended that I read this book after I told him I’ve been categorically a “people pleaser” my entire life.

The book is a Socratic examination of Alderian psychology. The book is written in the form of a conversation between a Philosopher and Student. The student is resentful and longs for a higher station in life. He tries to dismantle the Philosopher’s argument at every turn. In the end, he is dismantled and rebuilt anew.

Some key takeaways:

  1. All problems are interpersonal.
  2. Happiness comes from community belonging. Community belonging comes from contribution. Even the passive act of being alive is contribution.
  3. The past doesn't affect the now. The future doesn't affect the now. Let go, and live in the moment - that's the key to true happiness.
  4. Life is simple. And it is.